Speed and smiles just seem to go together. When mixed with something corny you can’t help laughing at the silliness and absurdity. It can help when times are boring and you need a curl of the lips. Do you have your own fast tales? We all have heard them at one time or another. They do help in many ways. You can’t drive on the freeways without appreciating how people do, at times, seem to leave their brains at home while driving. Perhaps the next time you’re stuck in a traffic jam one of these jokes will come into your head, and make the time pass easier. Maybe they will be something to share during your commute on the bus? It all is for fun, and to give you a snicker or two in the process.
- Click It! Japanese scientists have finally invented the ultimate in cameras. It has a shutter so fast that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth closed.
- Shocking. The problem with the latest electric cars isn’t that they are too slow. The problem is that you have to stop often to find an outlet just to plug in the extension cord.
- Catch. The Javelin catching team is looking for faster new members to replace the ones with slow hands.
- Underwater Thrills. What has two wheels and goes 60 miles an hour underwater? Motorpike and Sidecarp. Together they don’t have three wheels.
- Zoom. When is a race car not a race car? When it pulls into a driveway.
- OOPS. Why did the leper get stopped for speeding? He couldn’t take his foot off the accelerator.
- Riding The Rails. A train was moving to slow. Then it stopped. A lady passenger saw the conductor outside and asked what was wrong? He said there was a cow on the tracks. The train started up again then stopped five minutes later. The lady saw the conductor again and asked, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”
- Thud. What do truckers call slow turtles? Speed bumps.
- But It Read. Cop pulled a lady over for doing one hundred on the freeway. He asked her why she was speeding. She insisted I was just obeying the sign she saw back there. The cop said, “that was the highway number not the speed limit!”
- I’ll Pass. Guy was riding his bike and had a front flat tire. His buddy came up in a Cadillac and offered him a ride by tying his tire to his rear bumper. Then told him to ring his bell when he wanted to stop. Then another guy came up who had a Lincoln and the two cars decided to race. The cops caught up with them in a helicopter and radioed the patrol cars, “don’t arrest the two cars, arrest the guy on the bike, he’s ringing his bell and trying to pass!”
Not recommended to tell a traffic cop when expecting a ticket. Still hopefully they will give you a chance for a smile, when a frown from speeding is coming.
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