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Archive for May, 2011

10 Corny Jokes About Really Fast Things

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Speed and smiles just seem to go together.  When mixed with something corny you can’t help laughing at the silliness and absurdity.  It can help when times are boring and you need a curl of the lips. Do you have your own fast tales?  We all have heard them at one time or another.  They do help in many ways. You can’t drive on the freeways without appreciating how people do, at times, seem to leave their brains at home while driving.  Perhaps the next time you’re stuck in a traffic jam one of these jokes will come into your head, and make the time pass easier.  Maybe they will be something to share during your commute on the bus?  It all is for fun, and to give you a snicker or two in the process.

  1. Click It! Japanese scientists have finally invented the ultimate in cameras.  It has a shutter so fast that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth closed.
  2. Shocking. The problem with the latest electric cars isn’t that they are too slow.  The problem is that you have to stop often to find an outlet just to plug in the extension cord.
  3. Catch. The Javelin catching team is looking for faster new members to replace the ones with slow hands.
  4. Underwater Thrills. What has two wheels and goes 60 miles an hour underwater? Motorpike and Sidecarp. Together they don’t have three wheels.
  5. Zoom. When is a race car not a race car? When it pulls into a driveway.
  6. OOPS. Why did the leper get stopped for speeding?  He couldn’t take his foot off the accelerator.
  7. Riding The Rails. A train was moving to slow. Then it stopped. A lady passenger saw the conductor outside and asked what was wrong? He said there was a cow on the tracks.  The train started up again then stopped five minutes later. The lady saw the conductor again and asked, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”
  8. Thud. What do truckers call slow turtles? Speed bumps.
  9. But It Read. Cop pulled a lady over for doing one hundred on the freeway. He asked her why she was speeding. She insisted I was just obeying the sign she saw back there.  The cop said, “that was the highway number not the speed limit!”
  10. I’ll Pass. Guy was riding his bike and had a front flat tire. His buddy came up in a Cadillac and offered him a ride by tying his tire to his rear bumper. Then told him to ring his bell when he wanted to stop. Then another guy came up who had a Lincoln and the two cars decided to race.  The cops caught up with them in a helicopter and radioed the patrol cars, “don’t arrest the two cars, arrest the guy on the bike, he’s ringing his bell and trying to pass!”

Not recommended to tell a traffic cop when expecting a ticket. Still hopefully they will give you a chance for a smile, when a frown from speeding is coming.

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10 Reasons Wireless Internet is Slower than Wired

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

By: Laura Backes

There’s nothing like the untethered freedom of wireless internet. Having the flexibility to get online from a variety of locations is a beautiful thing. But why is it that you seem to always be sacrificing speed for the sake of mobility? What is it about wireless internet that slows you down? The following are 10 reasons why wireless internet is slower that wired:

  1. Firstly, wireless signals are subject to interference from physical obstructions like walls, metal objects, etc. This will decrease signal strength and, therefore, overall performance.
  2. Electrical noise when transmitting through the air will also adversely affect wireless performance.
  3. Because wireless is usually being transmitted via an omnidirectional antenna, much of the signal is lost to the wireless device, which is receiving only a fraction of the available signal.
  4. Routers typically run at 54Mbps. Broadband wired internet speed on ethernet can be 100Mbps. So the capacity of the wired connection may exceed that of your wireless router, even if it’s connected to the same broadband source.
  5. This can also be a function of the wireless standard that you’re using. 802.11n, for instance, is capable of 300 Mbps speed, while 802.11g speeds are in the aforementioned 54 Mbps range.
  6. Proximity to the router will affect speed. The further you are from the source, the slower your speeds.
  7. Your wireless device is sharing the available bandwidth with all other devices on that wireless network. Think of it on terms of water pressure,and trying to run a bath while the kitchen sink and the clothes washer are both running.
  8. Positioning of the antenna can affect the wireless signal.
  9. Speed differences between wireless and wired are going to be most significant when transferring files between devices on the same network.
  10. Wireless encryption, a security necessity when transmitting through the air, also slows down the signal.

Although any wireless router is rated for speeds in excess of most broadband speed, the nature of wireless transmission makes it susceptible to conditions that can adversely affect performance.

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10 Things I Don’t Understand About Internet Phones

Friday, May 13th, 2011

By: Laura Backes

I’ve been seeing quite a bit of advertising for different internet phone services. They show happy people throwing away their phone bills and acting like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. I’m retaining a certain measure of skepticism, but maybe it’s just because I’m afraid of things I don’t understand.

  1. What is it? – Since this is fairly new technology, my first question is what is this and how does it work? Most people grew up with land line telephones and now have mobile phones and have a basic understanding of how they work. Internet phones are a foreign concept that I need explained.
  2. Does it work anywhere? – Living in a rural area, my next concern is if this system will work everywhere or only in largely populated areas. For those of us who only have one option for internet to begin with, will our local service support this phone system? What about the people I’m trying to call?
  3. Are there hidden fees? – Some of these internet phone services are supposed to be free, but I’m always skeptical about that. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, so what’s the catch?
  4. What are the equipment costs? – One thing I’m sure of is that you’ll have to purchase some kind of equipment to do this and I need to know how much it will cost. Can you use the phones you already own or not?
  5. Will this interfere with other internet activities? – Can you talk on the phone and still surf the web or check your email at the same time? If you can, does this slow everything else down?
  6. How is the sound quality? – How do internet phones sound compared to land line or cell phones? I need to know if the quality will be better, worse or the same.
  7. How quickly will it be obsolete? – Technology is changing so fast right now, that I always worry about how quickly the latest equipment becomes obsolete. By the time I get my internet phone system set up and start to get used to it, will they come up with something better and cheaper?
  8. What about customer service? – There seem to be so many different companies involved in making this work. Who do you call when it’s not working right and do they just pass the buck and blame someone else or will they get it fixed?
  9. Are international calls the same price? – I know that the internet is worldwide, but I’m so used to the idea of international calls being very expensive. Does the internet phone work the same all over the planet for the same price?
  10. Why doesn’t everybody have it? – If this is the best thing ever, why doesn’t everybody use the internet for their phones? Are there problems I don’t know about or are they all just as skeptical as me?

I can clearly see that I have more questions than answers. I’ll have to get on the internet and do some research. Then I probably should find someone who already uses internet calling to find out how they like it. Maybe getting my questions answered will eliminate the fear that’s holding me back and I’ll find out I can actually save some money on my phone bills.

This is a great guest post from a friend of DSLService-Providers.com, Jan Schultz who normally writes for the team over at Change of Address (.org).  She brings up some good points and hopefully by working through this on our site Jan will get the answers she is looking for…  In any event she definitely has earned herself an email and call from the Internet Service Guy!

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10 Reasons Countries Ban FaceBook

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Not everyone has freedom to access all areas of the internet. Many countries restrict the internet access of their residents by blocking the use of certain types of sites. Social media sites, like Facebook, are one of the most frequently banned in these countries. Why would a country ban the use of Facebook? Here are ten reasons.

  1. Use by revolutionaries – In many of the recent revolutionary activities around the world, Facebook was a connecting medium for the revolutionary leaders and a means to gather support.
  2. Political speech – Countries which attempt to control political speech have recognized the power of social media to communicate ideas quickly to large numbers of people. This can be very threatening to the regime in power.
  3. Religious speech – Those countries where religion is controlled by the government have seen the openness of religious speech on the Facebook platform. They see the sharing of religious ideas as dangerous to their control in that area.
  4. Women’s rights – Facebook is also considered to be a possible platform for encouraging women’s rights in societies where women have been limited in their roles and their personal freedoms.
  5. Closed media – Many countries have closed media policies. The news people have access to is filtered through government approval. Facebook would provide them with the means to hear news reports outside the government filters.
  6. Human rights reports – Human rights activists have used Facebook to publicize the abuse of human rights in some countries and gain global support for their causes.
  7. No borders – Facebook has no borders. Individuals and groups can openly communicate with each other. For those countries which control who are restrictive about who can enter and who can leave their country, this type of freedom is very threatening.
  8. Easy access to populace – The viral nature of Facebook communication is one of its biggest threats in these countries. The ability to quickly communicate information and ideas to a large amount of the local populace and the outside world is recognized as being dangerous to their control of the general populace.
  9. Virtual meetings – Facebook allows dissidents to meet virtually instead of in a physical location. It also allows for the hiding of their identities.
  10. Information control – In general, countries ban Facebook in order to try and control the flow of all kinds of information. Knowledge is power, it has been said. If you limit the knowledge of the people, you limit their power.

This is a good reminder, that we should not take our personal freedoms for granted. There are actually more countries in the world that restrict personal internet access than there are that give their citizens the right to choose for themselves.

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10 Slang Terms that Come from the Internet and What They Mean

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Do you ever feel like your kids are speaking a foreign language?  It’s not bad enough that they are texting and chatting with these terms, but now they are speaking them now too.  Are kids today so lazy that they can’t speak in complete sentences?  Or are they trying to be sneaky and not let everyone else know what they are saying?  I’m not sure it’s either of those.  I just think that kids today are so used to thinking in abbreviations or slang terms that it just comes out in how they speak to each other too.  Check out 10 Slang Terms that Come from the Internet and What They Mean.

  1. LOL, ROFL, LMAO: These are all related and so I have combined them together.  LOL means “Laugh Out Loud”.  Usually meaning something was so funny that they broke out and laughed out loud instead of just in their head.  ROFL means “Rolling On Floor Laughing” so something that is funnier than just LOL.  And LMAO is “Laughing My %^# Off” which I guess is even funnier than the other two.
  2. BTW: This means “By The Way” and is usually used when you want to say something, but you don’t want to come right out and say it.  I think it’s more of a short hand than anything else, something kids found that they said over and over and decided to shorten it.
  3. BRB: This means “Be Right Back” and is usually used in a chat room or when you are instant messaging back and forth.  This is something that has come up with the invention of the Internet because you can’t see that the person you were talking to is no longer there.
  4. TTFN: “Ta Ta For Now” is a common close in an e-mail, in a conversation, on a text or whatever.  I guess people don’t want to say bye or good-bye because it seems too final.
  5. J/K: “Just Kidding” is used pretty often because sometimes humor is lost over the Internet when you can’t see the person.  I often struggle with people not getting my sarcasm over the Internet because they can’t hear my voice either.  This is a good one to know.
  6. PLOS: “Parents Looking Over Shoulder” is one that all parents should know.  A variation on this one is PAW, “Parents are watching”.  Or another one is POTS, “Parents over the shoulder” meaning that they can’t really talk.
  7. @@@: This is a quick warning that parents are nearby and might come over at any moment.
  8. PATT: This means “Party All the Time”.  There are others dealing with partying like LFP, “Looking for party” and RAGE, meaning to party really hard and get drunk.
  9. IMHO: A very common one on chat boards, especially those with adults.  It means “In my humble opinion”.  So instead of saying that you disagree with whatever what said you can just say what you want and add IMHO after it.
  10. TTYL: Very common way to end a conversation, “Talk to you later”.  There are others like TTYS, “Talk to you soon” or TTML, “Talk to me later” if the person can’t talk right then.

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